Reliance

The Rev. Whitworth Ferguson III
Manassas Presbyterian Church
Manassas, Virginia
March 1, 2009
First Sunday in Lent

Reliance
Psalm 25:1-18

To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.
O my God, in you I trust.

To you, O Lord,
I lift up my soul.
O my God,
in you I trust.

I lift up my soul,
my being,
my life, myself,
all of me, nothing withheld.
Into your hands I commit my spirit,
(Psalm 31:5)
not at the end of my life, but now:
Into your hands I commit my spirit;
Into your hands I commit my soul;
Into your hands, I commit my life.

In you I trust.
In you I hope.
My reliance once was on myself,
on money, on things,
on achievements,
on success, on position,
on popularity.

I am wiser now.
And I seek to grow in wisdom each day,
for I lift up my voice and pray,
Make me to know your ways, O Lord;
teach me your paths.
Make me to know your ways, O Lord;
teach me your paths.
Lead me in your truth, and teach me,
for you are the God of my salvation;
for you I wait all day long.

You answer my prayer.
You teach me and lead me.
There are so many paths I can follow,
but your way is the only path that leads to life,
the only path that leads to truth.

Can I even remember how many other paths I have tried?
Too many -- more than I count.
Who would not prefer a path that
looks attractive and seductive,
easy and inviting?

Do not remember the sins of my youth or my transgressions;
according to your steadfast love remember me,
for your goodness’ sake, O Lord!
Do not remember the sins of my youth;
do not remember all my transgressions.
They are so many!
If I were to say otherwise,
you would know better,
and I would deceive only myself.

In you I can find grace,
in you I can find mercy.
In you I can find new life,
no longer weighed down by things I did,
things in the past,
things whose very memories
cause my cheeks to burn with shame.
There is no shame in you
for your word is true:
you will remember my sin no more.
(Jeremiah 31:34)

In you, O Lord, I am washed clean;
In your love I am born anew;
Through your Spirit I embrace new life.

Good and upright is the Lord;
therefore he instructs sinners in the way.
He leads the humble in what is right,
and teaches the humble his way.

I know in order to learn from you
I must be prepared to listen;
I must quiet myself;
I must center myself;
I must open my heart, my mind,
my strength and my soul to you.

I must come before you humbly
for I cannot hope to learn otherwise.
You will teach me wisdom
and you will point out the error of my ways.
You will teach me compassion,
you will teach me mercy,
you will teach me goodness.
You will teach me how to serve others,
how to put my selfishness aside,
and in the process
you will teach me to live love.

All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness,
for those who keep his covenant and his decrees.
Your love is steadfast;
it does not waver.
Your love is unconditional;
and your faithfulness is certain and sure;
I am the one who wavers and waffles;
I am the one whose love is not steadfast.
I am the one who does not keep covenant,
for I flit like a bird in a tree,
jumping from branch to branch.
How can I ever hope to learn?
How can I ever hope to know grace?

For your name’s sake, O Lord,
pardon my guilt, for it is great.
It is great not because of some evil act,
but because I choose disobedience.
I choose to turn from you --
fully aware of my choice.
Your way lies before me,
and I go another way
If there is even the possibility of a cross to bear,
I will choose another path.

What is my greatest sin?
Is it my pride?
Or is it my stubbornness?
Is it my refusal to learn?
Or is it my unwillingness to change?
Is it my unwillingness to take responsibility,
for my actions, my words, my thoughts,
my going out and my coming in?
To you my greatest sin must be my unwillingness
to open my heart and mind
to be transformed by your grace and your Spirit.
My greatest sin is a closed mind,
and a boxed-up heart.

Who are they that fear the Lord?
He will teach them the way that they should choose.
Those who fear the Lord are not weak,
they are not cowards.
No, I understand now,
they are the strong ones,
men and women who are wise,
who rely on you, utterly and completely.

The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him,
and he makes his covenant known to them.
It is more than friendship that you offer;
it is confidence:
your confidence in me
and my confidence in you;
your hand in my hand
at all times and in all places,
whether I am standing in your Holy House
singing your praises on the Sabbath,
or lost and struggling in the wilderness.
For if I take the wings of the morning
and settle at the farthest limits of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me…
your … hand shall hold me fast.
(Psalm 139:10)

My eyes are ever towards the Lord…
My eyes are ever towards you O Lord;
for where else should I look?
When my eyes are toward you
I see your hand everywhere
in the beauty of your creation,
and the glory of all your children --
no wonder you delight in your creation.

When my eyes are toward you,
I see your love,
but I also see your absence --
absence not where you have turned away,
but where we have chased you away,
pushed you away,
leaving a void, a hole
filled by violence, poverty
hunger, hopelessness,
How many God-shaped holes am I responsible for
just myself, O Lord?
How many?

Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.
Relieve the troubles of my heart,
and bring me out of my distress.
Consider my affliction and my trouble,
and forgive all my sins.
Yes, Lord, this is what I ask:
forgive all my sins;
blot out my transgressions,
wash me thoroughly from my iniquity.
(Psalm 51)

And you have:
you have turned to me
in your steadfast love
and set a table before me,
filled with the richest of foods:
the bread of life, and the cup of salvation.

I will come to your table and eat;
I will come to your table to be fed;
I will come to your table to be renewed.
My cup does indeed run over.

To you, O Lord,
I lift up my soul.
O my God,
in you I trust.

Amen